— anonymous.

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Anonymous,

I don’t think you should ever ignore what you’re feeling; you should always listen to your heart. But… just because your feelings aren’t as strong as they used to be for him, doesn’t mean that it’s the end! No relationship will ever be like it was in the beginning when you first started dating. It will never be excitingly new & fresh like that again… & that’s okay!

It’s normal to hit a point where you begin to feel comfortable (even a little bored!) in a relationship. This means that the infatuation, googly-eyed, naive feelings are dying & the TRUE, mature love, is beginning. You say you two still have so much fun together & that’s great! That indicates even more that you still have chemistry & enjoy your time together. It sounds like your relationship is healthy & blossoming beautifully.

You guys have been together since you were young, & now you are transitioning into an honest to goodness mature relationship. You’re starting to talk seriously about marriage & having children. Those are big steps. It’s only natural that you will be feeling unsure, stressed, & a little scared. (& I’m sure he’s feeling the same, too.) But don’t think too hard or too negatively about what’s going on right now. What’s happening in your relationship right now is normal. Don’t fear it, or resist it. Embrace it.

Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? If not, you should! You should try to connect with him with how you are feeling. No doubt he’s feeling the same things, too, & maybe you guys can put your heads together & figure out some creative ways to liven up your relationship & get through this transition. It will be different, but what matters is that you will be going through these changes together.

I say all of this while underlining the fact that EVERY relationship goes through this. It would be a shame for you to leave your boyfriend after devoting 3 years of your life to him, because you don’t like the weird feelings of this new level of relationship. You’ll kick yourself in the end when you find yourself in another relationship & you’re experiencing the same feelings as you are now. Honestly, what you’re going through is a big reason why most couples don’t last very long, because they only like that “love sick” feeling; anything other than that isn’t good enough. But if you can recognize that your relationship is taking on a stronger meaning & is now on a higher level, & that it’s OKAY for it to feel foreign, you two will be okay.

I wish you the best.

— apricot.