“how do I tell him I’m interested, without revealing his secret?”
dear apricot,
For the longest time, I’ve had set my eyes on a boy. Me being homosexual, and him being heterosexual, I just put it in the back of my mind as something that was very unlikely, and probably never going to happen. For the past four months, though, I’ve caught him staring at me from the corner of his eye, and every time I’d catch him, he’d quickly look down at his desk. Recently, a friend of mine told me that he came out to him personally, and mentioned that he had taken a liking to me. That explains the stares. I’ve tried to make small talk, but he’s very shy. How do I let him know I’m interested, without letting him know that I know his secret?
— anonymous.
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Anonymous,
I can understand your not wanting to reveal his secret. His coming out wasn’t for you to know, only your friend’s. So naturally, it wouldn’t be wise for you tell him that you know he is gay. But it certainly sounds like you like him a great deal, & he seems to be taking a liking to you, as well.
Have you ever talked to him before? If not, you should start a conversation. Be friends with him first. See how you guys interact with each other. What are his likes & dislikes? Where does he like to go to hang out? What are his hobbies? If the conversation(s) go well, then you can gain his trust & eventually, he just might tell you his secret.
Or he may NEVER tell you his secret. Eventually, it could be one of those things that goes without saying; especially once he’s comfortable enough to let his guard down with you. I know there are certain ways you can let him know you’re interested in him without verbally telling him you know he’s gay. There are certain hints you can drop; you can be playful & coy. With time, he might be comfortable enough to flirt with you back…
For now, though, I suggest you start by being a friend of his. Because that’s where every relationship starts: through friendship. Let things happen naturally from there, & don’t worry too much about how fast your relationship is progressing. If it’s meant to be, things will go just as you plan.
Good luck!
— apricot.