“my mother is driving me insane!”

dear apricot,

I’m moving countries in about 42 days and my mother is putting me on lock down. She is driving me insane. My dad isn’t here at the moment and he’s the only one that keeps her sane. She doesn’t listen to me, it feels like she doesn’t care. Ever. I would understand if she had a lot on her plate, but she doesn’t. Everything has been taken care of. So why is she being this way? I know this is childish… But I feel like I’m going to explode at her, I can’t handle it anymore.

Please help.

— anonymous.

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Anonymous,

From what you’ve told me, I can only wonder: Could it be that she is just terribly nervous about your upcoming trip? It would make sense that that is the reason she is acting so strangely. After all, you’re moving into a different country. That is bound to make any mother a little stir-crazy.

If she is, by chance, acting neurotically because of your moving, you should do the best you can to be sensitive to her during this time. Be there for her the best way you know how. Continue to love her in spite of her weird behavior. Whatever you do, though, don’t explode on her. I know it’s difficult, but you don’t really have a clear idea of what is going on in her head right now. I think it would be wrong to make assumptions about what she is going through, & I know that she would really appreciate your understanding.

It might make her feel better if you talk to her. Perhaps reassure her that your upcoming trip will be safe, successful, & that you’ll continue to keep in touch. Maybe that’s all she really needs; to know that you’re going to be okay.

Of course, I am only assuming. It could be possible that she is dealing with something else that she isn’t willing to talk to you about. But regardless, just do the best you can to be understanding & show her love.

& if THAT is difficult to come by, withdraw a little bit. Don’t abandon her, of course; just make it a point not to get too emotionally involved with whatever is troubling her. Distance yourself ever so slightly, so you’re not in the middle of her wild emotions.

Whatever you decide to do, just keep reminding yourself that she is your mother; the one that wiped your snot, packed your lunches, & kissed your boo-boos. You don’t have to agree with her behavior, but you can love her in spite of it, whatever she might be going through.

I hope this helps some. Good luck, with your mother & with your travels.

— apricot.

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