“I want to spice up my sex life with my long-time boyfriend…”
dear apricot,
So, I have a bit of an awkward one to ask you… My boy and I have been together since I was 17 and he 18. Now that I’m older I’ve become much more interested in spicing up our sex life. Problem is, I don’t know how to do this without feeling like an idiot, because we have known each other for so long! I would even feel funny buying sexy underwear. How do I show him that I’m a woman now and not just a girl?
— anonymous.
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Anonymous,
I don’t think you should be too worried about whether or not he thinks you’re a woman now. I think he already KNOWS that you are no longer an awkward teenager [smiles]. But going out of your comfort zone to sort of change things up in your relationship can feel funny (& that’s normal).
Stick to this one rule: Don’t do anything that makes you feel fake or uncomfortable. I think a lot of women make the mistake of buying complicated lingerie that rides up in all the wrong places, or they act a certain way they feel would be most pleasing to their men. (I thoroughly blame Cosmopolitan magazine!) But you should always remember that he loves you for YOU. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be with you. Your quirks excite him. So play them up, & don’t change yourself.