“my boyfriend’s boss won’t stop calling him!”

{photo courtesy of barejon.}

dear apricot,

My boyfriend is a friendly guy and tries to be nice to everyone, but I’m having a problem telling him to tell his boss lady to back off. She is married and she calls my boyfriend almost every day! She e-mails him and now he tells me she stopped by his house unannounced at 11 am and asked for a beer! How can I tell my boyfriend to tell his boss lady to back off? What can I say without him thinking I’m jealous or insecure? Please help!

— A.

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A,

There’s a very good chance that because your boyfriend is such a friendly guy, he has no idea that his boss’s behavior is getting underneath your skin. To him, he might think that she is just being friendly right back. So I think you need to tell him straight out that you’re rather uncomfortable with the idea of his female calling him all the time & inviting herself over so late at night. Especially since she is married. No need to make it a huge deal; just mention this to him casually. Perhaps when you put it in those terms — harping on the inappropriateness of her actions, how it makes you feel uncomfortable, as well as the fact that she is married — he’ll be able to see where you’re coming from. Also, make it very clear that you have no problems with him having female friends, but you DO have a problem with friends of his that don’t respect you or your relationship with your boyfriend.

I don’t think he’ll get the impression that you’re jealous or insecure, but I think he’ll realize that this woman is overstepping her boundaries with you & your man. Hopefully, he won’t continue to see her as only being friendly, because it sounds to me like she has ulterior motives.

— apricot.

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